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Donald Trump’s “fat” accompli

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Donald Trump is going to get weighed. That’s right, along with having his mugshot taken when he surrenders for booking in Georgia, Trump will also be ordered to step on a scale and have his weight read and recorded.

On Friday, one bookmaker site, the Antigua-based BetOnline, offered an over/under wager of 273.5 pounds for Trump’s weight upon his surrender to authorities in Fulton County. I’m not betting but I am guessing he’s over that. Way over. Since 2020 Trump has been claiming that he weighs 230 pounds. Fat chance.

But first one question. Why does it matter? Ordinarily it doesn’t. I’m an implacable enemy of fat shaming and Trump is not an exception. But when Trump gets officially weighed it will confirm one irrefutable metric about Trump. And it will prove that he’s been lying about it all along.

For years members of the MAGA cult have claimed that Trump never lies. This will prove, once and for all, that he does in fact lie.

But it gets better. Trump’s height will also be measured. Back in 2020 Trump claimed to be over 6 foot 3 inches tall, making him the second tallest American president, just behind Abraham Lincoln and a smidge taller than LBJ.

But that also turned out to be a lie as well. Realising he had to tell the truth, Trump recently was forced to admit on his arraignment paperwork that he is one inch shorter than he previously claimed. I’m betting he’s even shorter than the 6 foot 2 he’s now claiming.

Again, why does it matter? It matters because it will be one more chink in his MAGA armour, one more proof that Donald Trump can’t tell the truth about anything, not even the most mundane detail of how tall he is.

It will also be incredibly humiliating to him, and after four years of his relentlessly humiliating America, I want to see Trump suffer. I want to see him forced to admit something that his narcissistic pride wouldn’t let him admit. That he’s unremarkable in height and much heavier than he claimed.

In fact, I’m betting Trump is 6-1 and weighs about 320 pounds. That would give him a BMI of 42, well beyond the “severely obese” range. If true, Trump would be the second fattest president in history after William Howard Taft.

Trump’s post-presidential experience has proven to be a series of breathtaking climb downs. We have been so hungry for payback because of the awful things that he’s done to America, because of the hundreds of thousands who unnecessarily died from Covid, because of the damage Trump has done to America’s international prestige, that many of us have missed how badly Trump has been hurt by his recent failures and indictments.

The revelation of his true height and his true weight will be another climb down for Trump. I think we should take a moment and enjoy it. After years of listening to his lies, years of his lies being cheered by the MAGA cult, our moment of Zen has arrived. Savor it, my friends. And, as ever, ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, comrades and friends, stay safe.

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